Assignment 8: Claire Telfer

Fears: flying, death, drowning, regret
Annoyances: loud chewing, carelessness, inconsideration
Accomplishments: doing well in school, keeping friendships, hard work ethic, swimming
Confusion: life, fulfillment
Sorrows: when people leave, move on, or pass away, giving up things I love
Dreams: success, happiness, love
Idiosyncrasies: timid yet outgoing
Risks: I want to go cliff diving, backpacking
Beloved Possessions: my dog (now and then), my grandmother's ring(now), my stuffed elephant (then)
Problems: dealing with change, time management, spending too much time on my phone

Dealing with change is something that I've found difficult only in the past few years. I still don't understand why I like a certain routine of things everyday, but it's a sharp contrast with how adventuresome and outgoing I used to be. I find this resistance to change in my friendships, in my hobbies and, in general, my life. In my swimming career, I feel the effect of change the most. The majority of my friends in swimming are seniors this year or have already graduated. I start to think too much about what I'll do when they leave, and if I'll be able to keep doing something I love even after my friends have gone off to college. As these people move on, I'm stuck in the same place.

As a result of being so near to starting a new life in college, I've started to reflect more on the past. I don't think I've taken enough time to think about how much of my life has changed in the past five years. The people in my life have changed; some of my closest friends moved away and I haven't spoken to them since. I can't quite wrap my head around how things can change so much and I don't remember things from when I was younger. One of my fears stems from change, regret. My fear is that I'll start to regret the things I've done in my life like not taking enough chances, not being happy enough, not  One thing that still confuses me today is giving up playing soccer. I gave up playing soccer a little over a year ago, something I did for almost a decade, because all my friends had stopped playing and I didn't think I was good enough anymore. I worry that I regret making that decision, and wish that I never stopped. I think this fear of regretting my decisions relates to my indecisiveness because I never truly know if I'm making the right choice.