Anakin Reese Conn Assignment 19

I ignore most of the advice I am given, as those giving the advice don't know my motives, why I do certain things the way I do.  I often assume there isn't a reason, but what I write in my "dream journal" usually plans out days in advance somehow.  Whenever I dream about a day, it either involves me dying, or certain events or arguments happening at school.  The dying dreams seem to be the only ones I remember, and are always idiotic, while the other dreams are remembered before something happens, such as a sudden feeling that so-and-so will be sick today, or something goes just enough wrong for me to affect people the way I want.  If I haven't mentioned it before, I try to stay more mentally in the future than in the present, by which I mean that I am always waiting, keeping my conscious locked on an ideal point in the future, not knowing the date, just knowing that I'll remember what to do when that date comes.  I am discussing waiting because of advice given to me long ago, maybe when I was 6, that most of my life would involve waiting, and that there would be no way to escape that waiting unless you put yourself in that moment of fulfillment up until it is actually reached, before creating another situation i need to wait out.  That advice was given to me by myself, and although it sounds silly, it completely changed the way I viewed the world, and it has helped me stave off losing my mind.  I shouldn't write these blog posts at 4am, they turn out weird.